I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
