I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
