Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize