More tranny stories later!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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