ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
