after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
