Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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