I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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