How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
