there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
