I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
