i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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