there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
