i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
