I just threw up on my dentist
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
