if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize