i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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