So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my poor anus
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
