Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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