he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
