laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
