We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cockslap morals
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
