I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
