im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
