nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
