that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
