just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she looked like the before picture.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
