dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You're a waste of cheezeits
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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