just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I did not marry a roomba.
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