I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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