I CAN MOONWALK!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
