i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
