ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
