Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
wow bdsm is so cute
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
