I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize