I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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