She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
