I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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