my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You made out with two different species that night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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