After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
