Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
