I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
