i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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