i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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