Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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