So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
