SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Success! We fucked roommates!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
