Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
