STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize