so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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