I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
