my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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