john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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