she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
