drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
