Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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