this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
