There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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