Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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