Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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