sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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