When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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