so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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