I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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