i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
