I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and she was petting her beer can
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
