I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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