Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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