Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
