maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
