Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
